Hi from Scott: Archive

Jan 19th

4 notes

Oct 28th

Who likes art?

Screenshot from “My Little Pony: The Movie” + Quote from same movie + Minor graphical edits = My weird new hobby Enjoy, or don’t: http://myevilponies.tumblr.com/

Oct 6th

Fingers

Wrote another play this year for my high school’s 24 hour play festival. This year I did the double duty of writing and acting (I played ‘Michael’) and I thoroughly enjoyed myself once again. Important Note: Nana was played by my old French teacher who has a super high pitched voice and sometimes struggles with enunciating the English language.

Aug 25th

I guess I made this?

Just found this in my image folder. I have vague memories of making it, but for what purpose? WHAT PURPOSE?!

Aug 6th

1 note

Promising beginnings to 2011

Seems like a good opportunity so I think I’ll take a crack at this, and while the “negotiable compensation” sounds pretty appealing, I think I’ll just work pro bono. About Me: I am a escort. That mean I can take you place or you take me place. What you want your choice. If go to motel magic finger vibrate must have. I have ten grades education. I know math to...

Jan 5th

Nov 12th

1 note

The Best of YouTube Comments #7

Video: “LIKE A G6” (OFFICIAL) FAR EAST MOVEMENT (FM) feat The Cataracs & Dev URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvgJEznqtms Comment: Explanation: For some reason I was watching this video a lot and I came upon this amazing comment. The irony of using overly perfect grammar to type out the slang is truly spectacular. The utter mundanity of the whole thing adds a whole new...

Nov 10th

Oct 27th

Ripoff Ripoff

I emailed them a sheet of other sitcom ideas including: “Very Intelligent Younger Dude” “Single Dad Recruits Brother-in-law and Best Friend to Raise 3 Daughters” “Young Male Gets Introduced to Life” “Uber Nerd Terrorizes Family in the Chicago Suberbs” “The Fly Duke of Rancho Santa Fe” So far no response…

Aug 30th

RoboCop-out

This weekend I participated in a 24 hour play festival at my high school, in which a group of ~40 people put together 5 plays in 24 hours total. Two years ago I acted in one, which was fun, but this year I got a chance to write one with my friend Sam, which was funner. Here is the finished product that a group of 5 students and 2 teachers actually performed in front of a sizable audience. Note:...

Aug 24th

The Best of YouTube Comments #6

Video Title: Magic - B.o.B (Unofficial Music Video) Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1UTWfOzaOQ&feature=related Comment: Explanation: Two teenage girls edited together some footage of them dancing around and lip-syncing to a shitty pop song, and while most of the comments were either “ur both ugly” or “your buitiful” [real examples], the selected...

Aug 17th

Aug 2nd

A duck goes into a drugstore and asks for a...

My friend Brian and I started trying to write a web comic based on this idea: “What about: “The King of Duck Island”, short comics featuring moments in the life of King Duck, monarchical leader of Duck Island, a modernized island society of ducks (i.e. Bakery Duck, Teacher Duck, etc.); I think the dialogue between King Duck and Main Servant Duck alone could be pretty...

Jul 28th

The Best of YouTube Comments #5

Comment: Explanation: I don’t even remember what video this posted under, and frankly it doesn’t matter. It appears to be just another random teenager begging for channel views and subscribers. Nothing special about that, usually I stop reading those within the first two lines. By some grace of god, I decided to read the entirety of this comment. I don’t know if it was...

Jul 23rd

Wasting Time on the Internet

I saw a craigslist ad from some website looking for writers. I wrote an article for them but then decided that a) their website sucked and there was no way they were ever going to be able to pay me and b) there was a pretty poor chance that they would appreciate the “self-referential irony” of the article so instead I am just posting it here: How to waste time on the internet: ...

Jun 10th

2 notes

The Best of YouTube Comments #4

Video Title: Growing Pains Theme Song - season 5 Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liFmMcmigsQ Comment: Explanation: Let’s just say that this comment could have been directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Well done Kiyema.

Jun 6th

Chronicles of a Procrastinator: Vol. 1, The...

Freshman year of college was a strange time for many people, myself included. While many people crowned themselves independent adults and had a blast finding out their alcohol tolerance or lack thereof, I spent my formative college year trying to figure out just how much work this whole college thing was going to entail. The majority of my first semester classes were absolute jokes. The base...

Jun 2nd

Chronicles of a Procrastinator: Prologue

“I am such a procrastinator.” This is a phrase you will hear out of the mouth of nearly every college student, barring the friendless weirdos who don’t have any friends to say anything to in the first place. Some of these “procrastinators” may be deserving of such a title, such as those who fire up that 10 page research paper on the Cotton Trade the night before...

Apr 18th

So many words......

Well friends, I’ve now been in LA for six months, and, unfortunately, I feel like I don’t have a whole lot to show for it. My comedy life has been pretty stagnant, with a lot of near misses and subtle disappointments. In January I auditioned for an improv/sketch group, got called back, thought I nailed it, then got rejected. Was pretty bummed about that one, but convinced...

Apr 15th

I wrote a piece of poetry

Cats. Lots of cats. One for each girl. And one for each boy. One for each finger And one for each toy. Meow, oh meow. Let them roar, but don’t let them scratch the shit out of you. A poem by Scott Hanscom Yes this is still part of the poem. It will end after the next line. Lily’s lilies looked lovely leaning. c. 2010

Mar 1st

Annoyingass Words

After hearing a radio DJ use the term “brainfart” on the air, I have decided to keep a list of words and phrases that, if you use, automatically means I will like you less. Brainfart - Your brain didn’t just fart, you are just dumb. Preggers - This is just the most terrible pseudo-euphemism for pregnant. Food-Baby - A trendy nothing-word that usually elicits a laugh from the...

Feb 4th

Thanks Mountain Man Jeff

This was the first New Year’s Eve in 6 years that I haven’t been on a ski trip with another family (the same one each time, I’m no “North”), so I was sort of at a loss of what to do. The fact that it was the the end of the decade also seemed fairly significant for two somewhat related reasons: The first is that the 00s are the first complete decade that I’ve...

Jan 6th

"This isn't turning into the party hang out I...

Well it’s been one year and so far I really suck at this. I think there might be 2 people that check/read this with any regularity, and other than that I assume my readership is comprised only of people who are facebook stalking me for the first time (Hello creepy girls. You should probably close your browser so my tracking software doesn’t kick in. Just kidding…in the time it...

Dec 26th

The Best of YouTube Comments #3

Comment 3 Video Title: Classico - Tenacious D Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwB9BKT5g8E&feature=related Comment: Explanation: God knows why I was watching this, but it’s two ~15 year old dudes “covering” a song from the Tenacious D movie. And when I say “covering” I mean one is lip syncing and the other is “playing” a Guitar...

Nov 4th

Oct 17th

Alright guys, I gots a great idea

While I was in Finland I had a lot of time for thinking (read: Finland is not the most exciting of places [not that I didn’t enjoy the trip; can’t a person just say something critical once in a while GEEZE]), and I came up with an idea that will revolutionize the online humorous t-shirt industry. I’ll bet most of you didn’t even know that the online humorous t-shirt...

Aug 28th

Something I wrote for a class...

So I am in an English seminar on modern plays, and the professor is apparently a fairly well known playwright who has never taught before. Consequently, we had only one assignment this semester, a 3-5 page paper The prof told us it could be a standard analytical english paper OR we could try our hand at writing a short scene. The choice was obvious. Here is what I wrote 30 minutes before class...

Apr 28th

The Best of YouTube Comments #2

Comment 1 Video Title: Andy McKee - Guitar - Drifting Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4&feature=related Comment: Explanation: This is one of the most viewed videos on YouTube (it’s a dude playing a cool song on the guitar) which means that there is a steady stream of comments rolling in every day. This quick exchange highlights both the stupidity of the first...

Feb 10th

Yay, I am pretty sure I am going to graduate

I received this email on Thursday afternoon: Why am I so excited? Basically in order to graduate I needed a “for-fun” class about the Redwall series by Brian Jacques to count towards my major. I thought this was going to be a simple process, in which I fill out a meaningless form and they ship me the units. However, when I went to go turn the form in, the English undergraduate...

Feb 10th

The Best of YouTube Comments #1

A little known fact about YouTube: The most entertaining part of any video is not the video itself but the user comments below it. To prove this fact I shall begin assembling an assortment of my personal favorite YouTube comments. Disclaimer: The people that write YouTube comments are often unparalleled in terms of their stupidity, and probably 95% of YouTube comments are just trash. However,...

Jan 24th

Some movies suck a lot

I’ve been seeing advertisements for the straight to DVD sequel of Without a Paddle entitled Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling, and one question keeps springing to mind: HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?! I used to be fairly certain that the worst movie ever made was White Chicks “starring” the Wayans brothers. For those unfamiliar with this film, the premise is that two black cops...

Jan 10th

Dec 26th

4 tags

Hello

It’s Christmas so I decided to start a blog. You might be asking why the fact that it’s Christmas would be the cause for my starting a blog, and the reasons are as follows (in descending order of relevance): 1. Blog-Wild: I was just reading a bunch of blogs and it reminded me of my desire to start my own. 2. Rememblog: I will always remember that I started it on Christmas day of...

Dec 26th